回顧我的童年，我為自己能成長在一個基督徒家庭十分感恩。因著父母的帶領，我在十一歲時就接受了耶穌基督為我的救主和生命的主。很明顯的，這對我的生命有很大的影響，不論是今生或是將來的永生。為此，我真是感謝我的父母引導我認識主。然而，有的時候我也會希望自己的父母能和其他孩子的父母一樣，有一個「正常」的職業。我會這樣想，是有幾個理由的。

首先，牧師的工作是沒有時間性的。牧師除了週末服事外，許多週間的晚上也常常要工作。我父母總是在週間的晚上去探訪會眾。很明顯的，不論任何時間，人們有需要時牧師都要隨時待命。會友的家庭不會剛好在早上八點到下午五點之間才有困難、生病或去世，所以不論何時，會友家有任何需要，我父母都必須放下手邊的事情，去看望他們、為他們禱告等等。有時我會感覺自己好像還不如會眾那麼重要。雖然那不是真的，但我還是免不了會有那種感覺。

其次，一般人往往對我的言行有不切實際的期望。好像我必須比其他家庭的孩子更好一點。只因我是牧師的孩子，人們就有一個刻板的印象，認為我應該作什麼，不應該作什麼；並且我的言行若不符合他們自己認為的牧師孩子應有之形象，就隨意的批評我。還記得有一次，我辛辛苦苦練習了多日，才得以被選拔為啦啦隊隊員。所以有一天在教會外的廣場，我表演一個啦啦隊慣常動作給一個契友看。結果，那個禮拜裡，就有一位會友向我父親告狀，說我在教會跳舞。其實，這不關他的事，而喜樂、純真的舞蹈也沒什麼不對。大衛在詩篇裡不是說我們應該喜樂地跳舞讚美神嗎？

這件事只是其中之一，說明教會會友總是觀察我的一舉一動，且毫不留情地評論我。不過，很慶幸地，我父母並沒有隨從別人的看法而同樣來責備我。然而，他們會告訴我，雖然我沒作什麼不對的事，但在教會的言行還是要更留心。，因為會友很自然地會特別注意牧師的孩子。我當然希望父母有時能站出來為我主持公道，但我瞭解他們的立場是不容易的。

第三方面，牧師的薪水比其他職業少得多。縱然一切基本生活所需，我都一無缺乏，但很明顯的，我們沒有大房子、高級車子、許多新玩具、多款新衣服。當我年幼時，這些對我都沒什麼困擾，即使不像其他家庭的孩子有那麼多東西，但我還是很快樂。當然，有時我會希望父親能賺更多錢，讓我們家在經濟上可以較寬裕。但回想起來，這樣的境況讓我學到更多寶貴的功課──節儉的美德、勤奮工作以賺取所需，以及一分一毫都不浪費。我覺得這是非常好的。今天許多孩子要什麼有什麼，最新型的各樣玩具、衣服、電器等等。他們很難學會要勤奮工作，以賺取金錢，才能購買一切所需的功課。而我孩童時的節儉習慣，使我今天很善於管理自己的財務。

縱然許多外在的因素會影響我們覺得當牧師的子女是幸或是不幸，但有一件事是肯定的。如果你全心順從神，研讀祂的話語，瞭解祂的教導和神學，祂必定會引導你對自己有正確的認識。你可以十分肯定自己與神的關係，而不在乎別人用他們人為的尺寸來衡量你，主知道你的心是否純全正直。如果你知道是出於神的，其他人也會隨從你。如果你知道自己所作的沒有違背聖經的教導，別人卻苛責你，那你和你父母都應該不要介懷。

最後，你要以你的家庭是事奉神的而喜樂，因我們的賞賜在天上，而非在這個世上。聖經上也應許我們，我們的勞苦不會徒然，我們任何為主而作的犧牲，在天上都會被記念。要謹記，只要你以天上和永恆的觀點來看，地上一切事物都微不足道了。會友也許會在很小或無關緊要的事上苛責你，但如果你知道在神的眼裡沒什麼不對，就不要太介懷。

即使身為牧家子女，難免有某些困難，但我還是很高興父母奉獻自己的生命事奉神。我瞭解這是很光榮的事業，而且對許多人的生命會有永恆的影響。神沒有呼召每一個人做牧師，所以我父母在神眼中一定很特殊。那也表示我在神眼中也很特殊。

牧家子女也許不是零缺點的孩子(PK may not stand for "Perfect Kid.")， 但因耶穌在十字架上為我們的犧牲，在神的眼中，我們就變成完全且無瑕疵的。我的牧職父母是這樣教導我的。

(作者是李順長牧師的長女，獲有MBA學位，現於南加聖地牙哥的NCR公司任財務規劃師。與先生Todd Newman 定居於聖地牙哥。)

PK Does Not Stand for “Perfect Kid”!
By Christine Newman

Growing up a Pastor’s Kid (PK) was not easy. Nobody seemed to understand that pastor’s kids weren’t perfect. This was especially true of the church congregation. Well, I’ve got a surprise for you: nobody’s perfect! Only God is. PK’s are just like anyone else’s kids, except that we have the privilege of growing up in a Christian home where our parents’ noble profession was to serve the Lord wholeheartedly, with their mind, heart, soul, and strength.

Looking back on my childhood, I am very thankful to have grown up in a Christian home. Because of my parents’ guidance, I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior when I was eleven years old. Obviously, this has had an eternal impact on my life, both in this present life and my eternal life with the Lord. For this, I will always be thankful to my parents for bringing me to the Lord. However, there were probably numerous times when I had wished that my parents had normal jobs like other kids’ parents. I felt this way for several reasons.

First, pastors don’t work normal hours. Pastors work weekends and weekday nights sometimes. My parents visited people in our congregation at nights. Obviously, people need pastors at all hours of the day. People don’t just fall ill or pass away during the hours of 8:00 AM to 5:00 PM, so whenever something happened to a member of the congregation, my parents had to drop everything to go see them, pray for them, etc. Sometimes this made me feel like I was less important than the members of the congregation. As much as that was not true, I still felt that way.

Secondly, other people had unrealistic expectations of how I was supposed to behave. I had to be better than anyone else’s kids to measure up. Just because I was a pastor’s kid, people felt like they know what I should and shouldn’t be doing and saying, and they felt free to criticize me whenever I did not fit their own image of a pastor’s kid. I remember one time, after I had worked very hard to practice and made the cheerleading squad, I was showing a friend in the church courtyard one of our routines. Later in the week, my dad got complaints from a member of the church congregation that I was dancing at church. First of all, it’s none of their business. Second of all, there’s nothing wrong with dancing, especially joyful, innocent dancing. David wrote in the Psalms that we should dance with joy onto the Lord.

This incident is just one example out of many, in which the church community felt free to watch my every move and criticize me. I give my parents a lot of credit. They didn’t just mimic the congregation and condemn me for whatever behavior they were complaining about. They would, however, tell me to be more careful about how I came across to them, because of how watchful and vigilant the congregation was of me, not because I did anything wrong in particular. I did wish that sometimes they would stand up for me more, but I understand the difficult position they were in.

Thirdly, pastors don’t make as much money as other professions. While I had my basic needs met and never really lacked anything, it was still obvious that we didn’t have the big house, the nice cars, all the new toys, that many new clothes. When I was younger it didn’t bother me at all. I was very happy despite that I might not have had as much as other kids. Sure, sometimes I wished that my dad made more money so we could have had more freedom monetarily. But looking back on it, I think it taught me invaluable lessons on being frugal, working hard for the things I want, and the value of a dollar. I think this was a good thing. Many children today get whatever they want, all the latest toys, games, clothes, electronics, etc. It’s very hard for them to appreciate the hard work that goes into earning the money to buy things. The frugality of my childhood has made me a good manager of my own money.

There are a lot of external influences that would make us feel good or bad about being a pastor’s kid. But one thing is for sure. If you follow the Lord with all your heart, and study His Word and understand the doctrines and theology, He will guide how you feel about yourself. You will have enough confidence in your relationship with the Lord to not let other people measure you against artificial yard sticks that you can’t possibly measure up to. The Lord knows your heart, whether it’s pure or in deceit. If you feel right with the Lord, the rest of the world will follow. And if they criticize you for something that you know does not go against the Bible’s teachings, then both the PK and the parents should just ignore the criticisms. You can’t correct something when nothing’s wrong.

Lastly, take joy that your family serves the Lord. Our reward is in heaven, not on this earth. The Bible promises that our work is not in vain. Any sacrifices we’ve made in His name will be remembered in heaven. Remember that everything is small stuff as long as you keep a heavenly and eternal perspective. Members of the congregation may criticize you for something small or irrelevant, but don’t let it bother you if you haven’t done anything wrong in the Lord’s eyes.

Even with some of the difficulties of growing up a PK, I am still very glad that my parents gave their lives to serve God. I understand the noble profession, and the eternal, everlasting impact it has on people’s lives. God doesn’t call everyone to be pastors, so my parents must be very special in God’s eyes. Which means God must think I’m very special too. PK may not stand for “Perfect Kid”, but in God’s eyes we are perfect and blameless because of Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross for us. My pastoral parents taught me that.

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